Chapter 80: The Pandemic of Desire (1)
Chapter 80: The Pandemic of Desire (1)
The Pandemic of Desire
1
Eydis stared at the computer screen, fingers drumming absently on her desk as she scanned through the latest reports.
The flu outbreak had officially levelled up to pandemic status. Congratulations, humanity, another crisis unlocked. Now that the election cycle had exhausted its entertainment value, the media had latched onto the new hysteria.
Wall-to-wall coverage flooded every screen. Theories, panic, ominous background music, baritone voiceovers, anchors perfecting their expressions of mildly concerned incredulity.
Alchymia was no exception.
And of course, there were the symptoms.
For non-Gifted humans: fever, fatigue, and an oddly specific restlessness when certain… appetites went unfulfilled. Inconvenient, but survivable.
For the Gifted… it was far worse. The kind of worse that had the Council redacting their internal reports. Even field agents like Astra hadn’t been granted clearance.
Eydis pushed back from her desk, stretching as her mind wandered. Melissa had been summoned for her arcane stabilisation expertise: magical damage control. Meanwhile, the Council continued its tradition of panicking behind closed doors while pretending everything was fine.
But Eydis had already reached her own conclusion. Unstable mana.
She had seen this volatility before. In Natalia. A reaction so severe that even the Saintess couldn’t neutralise it because their magic operated on fundamentally different wavelengths.
Further proof that Astra was from her world.
And Natalia...
Natalia had apparently decided that ghosting her was the best course of action.
They had barely exchanged words since that night, since Natalia had sobbed in her arms, murmuring apologies as if she had somehow broken something neither of them had ever named.
After that, only distance.
The Queen of Shadows, who could extract confessions from the Sins themselves and unravel lies before they left a person's mouth, found herself completely out of her depth.
She had come dangerously close to Goggling how to comfort a woman with a broken heart. But in the end, she had done what she always did.
Nothing.
She had let Natalia slip into Melissa’s care, hoping distance would fix what words couldn’t. Because she had seen it. Melissa cared for Natalia. And the doctor was who she needed at the moment.
Because until the root of it was uncovered, Natalia wouldn’t escape the dreams. The clutch. The pull. And Eydis’s presence only worsened it.
So here she was. Scrolling through catastrophe, trying to drown out the quiet ache of something lost.
Lost what, exactly?
Natalia had been the first person in this world to treat her with pure kindness. No politics. No expectations. No fear.
Friendship, Natalia had called it. And Eydis had believed her.
She’d never stopped to think Natalia might have meant something else. That beneath the bright smiles and soft laughter, something had waited.
And now it was too late. Somehow, she had broken something she hadn’t realised was even fragile.
Until it was already in pieces.
Eydis exhaled sharply and leaned back in her chair, rubbing a hand over her face. Enough. There was no sense in replaying a moment that had already passed.
She and Astra had spent the last weekend investigating the source of the outbreak. It hadn’t taken long to realise it wasn’t isolated to Alchymia. The reach was far broader, and far worse.
They stayed in Astra’s safehouse while combing through fragmented reports and live broadcasts, watching as the scale unfolded city by city. Eventually, they agreed it was time to return to St. Kevins. Eydis couldn’t afford any more absence.
She reached for her mug, lifting it to her lips only to scowl when she found it empty. Of course. Some things, it seemed, never lasted long enough.
And then, just as she set the mug down with a little too much force, she felt it. A slow warmth curling around her like smoke.
Sandalwood.
Her lips twitched despite herself.
“For a trained operative,” Eydis teased, “you’re alarmingly bad at sneaking up on people.”
Astra’s silver hair brushed her shoulder as she leaned down, peering over the screen.
“You shouldn’t have noticed me.” She glanced around their small shared dorm room. “Are your Sins watching?”
Eydis chuckled. “Not if I don’t let them.”
She had blocked them the moment her thoughts wandered to Natalia. No need to give them more exploitable material.
“Then?” Astra arched a brow, her face close enough that Eydis could count each long, silver lash framing those crimson eyes.
Eydis tilted her head back slightly. “Your scent betrayed you before your footsteps did.”
A flicker of alarm crossed Astra’s face. “Do I… smell?”
Eydis hummed, pretending to consider. “Oh, you do. You,” she murmured, “smell predictable.”
Astra’s brow twitched. “Predictable?”
Eydis grinned. “You always enter a room like you’re on a mission. You hesitate just slightly before speaking, like you’re calculating the most efficient way to communicate with the least amount of words.”
“…I do not hesitate,” Astra muttered, hesitating.
Eydis's grin widened.
Astra nearly pouted. Cute. “Standard procedure. We’re trained to be concise.”
“Concise,” Eydis mused. “Then what’s stopping you from saying what you really want to say?”
She rose smoothly, gaze flicking to Astra’s impossibly soft lips. “Or are you waiting for me to close the distance first?”
Astra held still, lips parting slightly. “You wouldn’t.”
Eydis stepped closer until their bodies were nearly touching. Heat radiated between them. “Wouldn’t I?”
Without breaking eye contact, she reached out, fingers threading into the silk of Astra's hair before settling at the nape of her neck, nails grazing lightly against sensitive skin.
She felt Astra's pulse jump beneath her touch.
Astra sucked in a breath and rolled her eyes. “You’re doing it again.”
Eydis’s thumb traced small circles behind Astra's ear. "I'm just admiring…"
Astra narrowed her eyes. “The texture, right?”
Eydis leaned closer. “No. You.”
Her lips brushed the curve of Astra’s jaw. “You smell like temptation."
Then her teeth grazed Astra’s earlobe, teasing, testing. “Like something I shouldn’t want.”
The effect was instant.
Astra’s default icy composure cracked, her shoulders tensing, breath catching. A slow flush rose along her cheekbones.
"Since when have you learned to act like this?" Astra asked, her voice dipped low. "Who else have you been practicing on?"
Was that… jealousy?
Eydis flashed a knowing smile, her thumb tracing Astra's bottom lip. Soft. Tempting.
"I’m an avid reader."
"And what exactly have you been reading?" Astra caught Eydis’s wrist, not to stop her, but to feel her. Her grip tightened, thumb pressing against the quick rhythm of Eydis’s pulse.
The corner of Astra’s lips twitched as she felt it. Her pupils dilated.
Eydis felt a slow heat rise in her cheeks under that look. "The pandemic reports."
Astra blinked. Scowled. “You’re deflecting—”
Whatever she had been about to say was lost as Eydis pulled her in and pressed their lips together.
The kiss started innocent enough. Until it graduated to something entirely less innocent.
Astra's hands found her waist, fingers digging in as she backed Eydis against the desk, deepening the kiss with a heat that stole Eydis’s breath. Assignment papers scattered to the floor. Neither cared.
"I've been thinking…" Astra confessed against her lips. "Since morning.”
Eydis’s heart hammered at the sudden openess of Astra. "Only since this morning?”
Astra's laugh was low. "Don't push it."
Her lips tasted like cherries, but there was nothing sweet about the way she kissed. Her fingers dug into Eydis’s waist, her body pressing against hers with intent.
Like she wanted to consume her.
Like she wanted to erase any space left between them.
Astra’s tongue swept against hers, and an involuntary gasp slipped from her lips, immediately swallowed by the kiss.
Ever since that night…
They'd skipped the talking part. Not about the weight of it. Not about what it meant.
What are we? What are we doing?
Eydis had asked herself that a hundred times. And yet, the moment Astra was close, the questions vanished.
Because all she wanted was this.
The warmth of Astra’s body pressed against hers. The way her usually cool, detached eyes darkened when they broke apart. The way her own breath stuttered; because Astra, who had always been untouchable, distant, unreadable was here. Vulnerable. Open.
Hers.
It drove Eydis insane. And she had no idea what to do about it. So, like any scholar faced with an unfamiliar subject, she had done the sensible thing.
She researched.
And regretted it instantly.
The internet, as it turned out, had a frankly disturbing wealth of deeply cursed knowledge that she could never unlearn.
Scholarly articles? Limited. But then...
The videos. Unlimited.
She had clicked one, randomly. Just one. For science. But…
The women looked startlingly similar to her and Astra. Except without clothes. Except they were kissing, but not where one would reasonably expect. So there was only one logical response.
She ripped the battery out of the laptop.
But it didn’t matter.
The damage was done. She had deleted her history. Cleansed her mind. Meditated, even twice.
And yet, when Astra leaned in, when her breath brushed against her cheek, it all came rushing back.
It made her fingers twitch. They drifted lower along Astra’s back, just far enough to slip beneath the waistband of her skirt.
Skin. Warm. Bare.
Too tempting.
She’d read about this. And she really, really wanted to put them into practice. With Astra.
To hear more of—
Astra inhaled sharply, her breath catching against Eydis’s lips.
—That.
Oh.
A shiver ran down Eydis’s spine.
Then Astra did that thing where her teeth nipped at Eydis’s lower lip, just enough to pull, a quiet tug that made Eydis’s pulse quicken.
She liked it.
Too much.
And Astra noticed. “You shivered,” she said, voice almost pleased. She had the gall to smile. It suited her far too well.
It always unsettled Eydis when Astra fought back with teasing. Eydis hated it. (Or perhaps not.)
She curled her fingers around the lace choker at Astra’s neck and pulled her back down. “When," she murmured, "did you learn this particular trick?”
Astra’s breath warmed her lips. “I read,” she murmured. “Extensively.”
Oh?
Eydis gave a soft, teasing laugh. “And you couldn’t resist trying it out on me?”
Astra’s smile bloomed into something smug. “I had to test my theories.”
Eydis silenced Astra the only way that made sense: by kissing her deeper. There was pressure, heat, control. Teeth. Astra gasped into it, low and startled.
“Curious to see what else I’ve studied?” Astra whispered, voice gone hoarse.
Yes. Very.
Eydis didn’t have the time to answer. Astra lifted her effortlessly onto the desk. Her hands slid up Eydis’s thighs, pushing the fabric of her tartan skirt higher.
She hooked her legs around Astra’s waist before she could think better of it. Because the sliver of space between them was unbearable.
Astra’s hand tightened on her bare thigh.
Firm.
Grip.
Eydis gasped.
The pressure sent a strange sensation curling through her body. What was that? She didn’t know, didn’t want to. Because it felt reckless. Dangerous. At this rate…
Nothing would change.
The world could be burning, and it wouldn’t matter. Not when this pull between them felt like gravity. Like they were already too far gone, slipping under the same haze of—
…Lust.
The thought slithered in. The heat in her veins was dizzying, too much, too fast.
And then came the doubt.
The crack.
The fracture Lust had always lived to exploit.
The break of the unbreakable.
The start of the fall.
No.
True, they had both managed to evade the more obvious symptoms, yet. But if Lust had been released alongside Gluttony and Greed, its corruption wouldn’t strike immediately.
It would wait.
Wait to unravel them.
Wait to poison their every thought.
Wait to grow into something neither of them would see coming…
Until it was too late. Until it consumed them completely, before they even realised what was happening.
She broke the kiss with a sharp intake of breath.
“Wait.”
Astra’s grip on her thigh slackened instantly. She drew back just slightly, eyes searching Eydis’s face. Her lips parted, still flushed, her breath uneven. “…Wait?”
There was something hesitant in her voice. Almost… disappointed.
Eydis swallowed. “I think…” Her own voice was quieter now. “We should take this slow.”
Astra studied her face, then she exhaled slowly. "We should."
And yet neither of them moved.
Astra’s hand was still on her thigh. The warmth of her palm burned her skin.
Slowly, Astra took a step back. Then another, before retreating to the other side of the room. The distance felt both necessary and unnecessary.
Eydis collapsed into her chair, gripping the armrests like she needed something solid to ground herself. But the thought had already taken root.
What if this wasn’t real?
What if it was Lust’s doing? Amplified. Artificial.
Eydis’s amber eyes flared gold before she forced them to cool. The room was too quiet. The pounding of her heart was too loud.
Astra was watching her. Carefully. “Eydis,” she said softly. “Are you alright?”
No.
“Yes,” Eydis said, clenching her fists. “I need to find Lust.”
Astra understood what Eydis wasn’t saying. “We’ll find it,” she said gently.
Before Lust found them first.