Yarra’s Adventure Notes

Chapter 38 - 38 28 Dream Gibberish_1

?38: Chapter 28 Dream Gibberish_1 38: Chapter 28 Dream Gibberish_1 (I found myself climbing to the top of the new book list in the last week, how miraculous.

To celebrate this final madness, I will be updating twice a day for the next few days.

Also, friends passing by, please add this to your collection and make a recommendation.

Your support is my greatest motivation.) Is it this place again?

Is it the same dream?

The familiar night sky, the familiar moonlight, the familiar gale-force winds, and the familiar yellow sand.

Ah, it’s truly here again, where my guilt rests.

So, you should be here too, my love.

Reaching out my hand, I gently clenched my fist, and a rough yet soft little hand appeared in mine.

Yes, you are truly here, my love, my knight.

Turning my head, I greedily gaze at your face.

How could so many people think that you’re not beautiful.

Your beauty is intoxicating; it’s just that they can’t see it clearly.

This is my dream, it also is my guilt, my punishment.

My love, do you know?

I’m so afraid of this dream, so afraid of the sins I have committed.

Every night when I return here, the fear of the past and the hatred for my former self gnaw at my heart.

Even so, even with so much fear and pain, I am still unwilling to receive salvation.

I still don’t wish to escape this painful punishment.

My love, do you know why?

Ah, it’s because you are here.

Only here can I dare to face my past sins.

Only here can I dare to face you.

Only here can I immerse myself in your tenderness again.

Only here can I speak of my longing and regret to you.

For the illusion of enjoying your tenderness again, for the chance to hold your hand again, I would rather sink forever in this endless nightmare.

I prefer to suffer the torments of remorse and regret every night.

I am willing to face my despicable cowardliness in every dream, face the past self I loathe the most, I am willing to never receive salvation, until the end of time.

Isn’t this exactly what you wish, my love?

Isn’t this the punishment you want to impose on me?

Isn’t this the punishment you want to give to the despicable and cowardly me?

But even so, I still want to tell you.

Every day, every night, every time we meet again in dreams, I want to tell you.

My love, I miss you.

My love, I am sorry.

“Kyle, my friend.”

Is it you interrupting my reminiscences again, Lady Mina?

It’s always the same, night after night.

Turning my head, I look at the cloaked figure walking by my side, looking at the golden eyes twinkling from under the hood.

“Ever since I saw you a few days ago, I’ve been considering this.

Even though you have top-level combat power among the demigods, you are still unable to awaken your Inherent Psychic Domain.

I’ve been pondering why.”

“So, what’s the result of your pondering?” Ah, I always say the same in these nights.

“My friend, I want to ask you, what are you fighting for?

More specifically, why are you organizing this battle, knowing how dangerous it may be?”

“To defend peace, to uphold justice.” Ah, the righteous words of mine.

If I knew how despicable and cowardly I would become, would I have answered like that?

“Then why are you defending peace and justice?”

“Because I am a perfect person, brave, upright, fearless, and self-sacrificing.

Isn’t that taken for granted?”

“Oh?

You defend peace and justice in order to be a perfect person, right?”

“No, Miss Mina, you got one thing wrong.

I am not trying to be a perfect person.

I was originally a perfect person.

This is not just my personal perception, everyone around me thinks so.”

“Hmm, I think, I know what the problem is.

You think that because you are a perfect person, you must protect lives, peace, right?”

“Yes, that’s my natural duty.”

“What if one day you find out that you are not perfect?”

“Impossible, that day will never come.

I strongly believe in this.”

“Ah, such arrogance and selfishness.

That’s a great sin, my friend,” Says Mina as she shakes her head under the hood.

“No creature is perfect, humans, elves, dwarfs, drakes, even gods are not.

Besides, don’t you think you’re making a mistake about the cause and effect?”

“Sorry, I don’t understand what you mean, Lady Mina.”

“It’s okay, you will understand one day.” Mina’s gold-colored eyes gaze into the distance, as if she could see through the boundaries of time.

“Though the price may be something you can’t bear, my friend.”

Ah, ah.

So it turns out you, Mina, had already seen my issues.

It turns out Mina, you had already predicted the tragedy that would happen.

What a regret, that over the years as the stupid one, I kept obsessively hating my past self, detesting my past self, never understanding why all of this happened, only finding the key to the problem with the help of a little girl today.

And what about you?

Nellie, my love.

Every time we talk about these things, I could always see the faint worry in your eyes.

Have you, too, long understood my problems, but could not change my stubbornness, arrogance, and selfishness?

Indeed, pride is a great sin.

Yet, even though you knew I was on the wrong path, you always stayed by my side, worried for me.

And me?

I repaid your kindness with despicableness and cowardice.

Ah, this is truly an unforgivable sin.

Alright, my beloved, just like every other night, let us once again bear witness to my sins, let us once again face our past.

That is a debt I owe you, one that can never be repaid.

——————————————————

“Huh, huh, huh.” Just like every other day, Pannis woke up from his nightmare.

He bolted up in panic, looked around blankly, then released several deep breaths.

He covered his forehead with both hands, gripping his hair tightly, lost deep in despair.

“Pannis.” Vivian’s childish voice suddenly sounded, startling Pannis out of his despair: “You’re crying again, Pannis.”

Pannis unconsciously touched his cheeks.

There was only unevaporated sweat: “You’re talking nonsense again, Vivian.

I didn’t cry.”

“Hehe.” A mature smile appeared on the childish face, Vivian pointed at her own chest again: “Your heart is crying, it cries every day.”

“Can you see what I’m thinking?” Pannis stood up and sat down next to the Crystal Energy lamp: “Otherwise, how would you know if I was crying?”

“Of course I can’t, I can’t see what you’re thinking.” Vivian shook her head: “But I can see into everyone’s heart, joy and anger, sorrow and happiness, good and evil, I can feel it all.

Don’t underestimate the intuition of a genius.”

Pannis frowned, awkwardly changing the subject: “Why are you staying up?

As a mage, you should rest now.”

“I can’t sleep.” Vivian sat on a large stone half her height that she seemingly moved from somewhere.

She swung her dangling legs back and forth, shaking her head: “I have a headache.

It woke me up and I can’t go back to sleep, so I let big sister go sleep.”

“What’s wrong with your headache?” Pannis looked at Vivian’s face: “Is it severe?”

“Hehe, Pannis, this is the first time you’ve shown concern for someone else.” Vivian laughed lightly, showing no trace of being tormented by a headache: “It’s okay, it’s an old problem.

It hurts every day, I just bear with it.”

“Do you know what’s causing it?” Pannis blushed slightly at Vivian’s teasing: “You can’t just tolerate it like this.”

“Can I not talk about it?” Vivian’s expression dimmed: “I don’t want to discuss it.”

“That’s okay, I was just asking, don’t bother if you don’t want to talk about it.” Pannis shrugged indifferently.

“Hehe, thank you, Pannis.” Vivian smiled again: “You’re really a good person.

I could feel your kindness from the first time we met.”

“I’m not any good person.” Pannis muttered: “I’m just a sinner.”

Vivian smirked mischievously: “Forgot about my gift?

You can’t fool me.”

“I’ll go wake Catherine.” Pannis got up, avoiding her gaze: “You should go back to sleep, otherwise you won’t last tomorrow.”

“No.” Vivian rejected Pannis’s good intentions: “I truly can’t sleep from the pain.

Let big sister rest a while, big sister’s very tired.

Can you just chat with me?”

Pannis sighed helplessly, sat down behind Vivian: “Don’t move, just sit like this.”

“Why?” Though she complied by not moving, Vivian felt fingers touch the sides of her head.

A cool sensation flowed through them, soothing her habitual headache: “Wow, what is this?

It feels good.”

“Just some healing techniques exclusive to life deity system beings.” Pannis continued to massage while answering: “I learned them from the elves, seems it’s quite effective.

But, it can only alleviate the pain.

If you want it truly healed, we need to find the cause.

You should take your headache seriously.

Don’t drag the treatment for too long, it won’t end well.”

“Hehe, you’re becoming naggy just like big sister.” Vivian covered her mouth to laugh, taking a stealthy glance at Catherine’s sleeping bag.

Seeing her deeply asleep, she relaxed and continued: “She also always nags me, it makes my headache worse.

Hmm, that feels good, can I lie down?”

“Of course.” Pannis stopped massaging for a moment: “Just relax.”

Vivian happily lied down on the stone, her head rested on Pannis’s thigh.

She curled up like a kitten, feeling the coolness from Pannis’s fingers.

She sighed in contentment: “Huh, that’s good, the pain subsided quite remarkably.

Pannis, although she always tries to educate you seriously, and always tries to change you, but don’t hate her.”

“How could I.” Pannis chuckled, shaking his head: “I don’t dislike any of you.”

“That’s good.” Vivian found a more comfortable position: “Actually, you also understand, she just wants to care for you, she just wants to redeem you.”

“Of course, I understand.” Pannis’s voice became softer: “I’ve understood from the beginning.”

“Big sister is always like this.” Vivian’s voice grew softer and softer, gradually murmuring, before finally fading away, succumbing to years of unused comfort and relaxation, drifting into deep sleep.

“Yeah, I’ve always understood.” Seeing Vivian fall asleep, Pannis continued to massage gently, his gaze drifting towards the sky: “Ah, redemption.”